"Trick Question"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Something dawned on me

as I sat next to my husband

watching Jeopardy

Questioning the answers

 

I happened to notice

that one of the female contestants

was steady and unflinching

holding her buzzer in her hand

like...

 

...a man.

 

I wondered what that would be like

and then I had this flash

that women spend most of their lives

tending to their emotions.

 

I mentioned this to my husband

who nodded while he watched the show

I said, "for girls it's like 80%"

 

He nodded again.

 

"What is Saudi Arabia?!!" he yelled at the TV.

 

"80% of our lives are taken up

with thinking about our emotions

How we feel about ourselves

and how we feel about other people

And how other people feel about us."

 

I said.

 

He nodded.

 

"It's kind of a waste of time." I said,

 

"Right you are," said Alex Trebek.

 

And then I added, "for guys

It's like 20%."

My husband nodded again, still looking at the TV

 

"20%." I said. "That's what I think it is. "

 

A commercial came on.

I picked up the remote control and pressed 

 

MUTE

 

"20%?" he asked.

I explained, yes, that's what I thought it was.

That was about how much time men

spent working on their emotions

 

Everything else was about work

or emails 

"No," He said.

"Not 20%.

Not even that much."

 

"Really?" I said, happy that I had figured it out.

But only sort of.

But then I thought about it more

And I started feeling queasy and uncertain

Because really if women are doing all the

emotional work,

what are men thinking about?

 

And then insecurity swept through me

Because I hadn't pegged it exactly

And that pissed me off

But also made me deeply sad

And then I felt the ragged edges of

doubt, and nagging pessimism

Which bugged me and made me feel resentful

actually

because I was exhausted

truly exhausted

from constantly thinking about how everything is just so

completely

frustrating

and unfair

and lopsided

it really is

 

The show came back on.

 

"Wow!  my husband said. "That lady just wagered it all

on The Daily Double.

She went for it! 

She's amazing. 

Do you want popcorn?

I'm having popcorn."

 

I put my feet back up on the coffee table

and watched her win the game.